What I missed, every day, yearned for, actually, was a British-style pork sausage. I dreamt of them. At least I think it was sausages I saw in my dreams.
Category: Food
Gay Seder
The service was conducted, of course, by a large angel with glitter in her hair.
The silliest sausage
At the launderette, an elderly man took off his trousers, put them into the dryer without washing them. He sat on a chair and offered me a cigarette.
No picnic
She lies on a rug with Alberto, they are playful with each other, then nap, their bodies touching, like incestuous twins.
My first night in Tel Aviv
We’re drunk and happy, and howl into the night, like wolves in the forest.
Playboy of the Western Wall
He says I should come back to the table and talk to him more, and blows me a kiss. I wink at him, like a playboy.
A respectable organ
He laughs. “I wish! I wish you’d fuck me.” He howls this into the night. He doesn’t care who hears. “Fuck you all!”
Keton
A man at another table pointed at me, his hand trembling, and said, “Itzak Stern sat there.”
Butter
She uses French butter to make croissants, and pulls a face at the idea of Israeli butter. Less fat, she tells me.
Manta Ray
We may be the definition of rootless cosmopolitans, citizens of the world.
Breakfast of champions!
He shows me the top of his tattoo, which is of a large feather. It’s well drawn, actually. It starts at the small of his back and, I don’t really want to imagine, sweeps downwards.
Men and dogs
Rufina’s face changes colour like a cuttlefish, pink to red to white. A tear runs down her cheek.
Fat fatty fat fat
Elli leaned closer, his face serious, and told me something surprising. At least, I was taken by surprise.
Yiddish karaoke
An elderly Dutch woman stops to talk to me. She has lived here and in London, but prefers Rotterdam now. She hates Tel Aviv. She wouldn’t have moved here if she’d been me. It’s too hot, for one, and there are too many bikes.
Friday night dinner
Nathan pretends to look serious and says, ‘We can talk about politics, if you want,’ and laughs, then repeats himself. We stop talking about Eurovision.
A moist lesbian
She would like to open a bicycle cooperative in Tel Aviv, which is about the most lesbian thing anyone could do, possibly.
My new sort-of passport
Dan shook my hand and smiled and said, ‘Welcome home,’ and I felt emotional again.
White Meat 