Shlomit says that she can’t help it, but she is a little bit racist. It had to be today, of course, everyone is thinking about it, that’s what it’s for.
Category: Nathan
Frankfurt
Nathan’s rules were, ‘no orgies, no meat’. So, no cock, no comfort.
Another Friday night
Alberto did something to displease a Russian customer, who, as a sort of warning, mimed slitting his throat.
Nerves
He’s in Israel ‘in case’, and I know that the case he’s most nervous of is Muslims taking over Germany. Israelis, as far as I can see, think that’s something that’s already happened.
Ship of fools
On my birthday I go to an exhibition. Its themes are: death, separation, misery, gloom. Everything but fun. Perfect!
A Frankfurter
He said he’d had a headache, and had to pack, but I knew that it was love that had made him a liar.
Sexy country
He was the colour of honey, a few freckles across his shoulders, his pale-pink nipples catching the sunlight.
Little Miss Sunshine
She killed more bees, just so she could fill the tiny bee graves she’d dug.
Independence Day
If you’re thinking of seeing the Ministry for yourself, it is probably wise to take sandwiches, a thermos and maybe a sleeping bag.
The silliest sausage
At the launderette, an elderly man took off his trousers, put them into the dryer without washing them. He sat on a chair and offered me a cigarette.
Last day at the ulpan
She danced with Alberto, I don’t know why, the joy and sadness of the occasion, I suppose.
Sherlock Holmes and the missing condoms
Unusually for Israel, this Land of Blutos, he had no beard, no stubble, no hairy chest. He said, “Let’s go in,” so in we went.
Mental hygiene
Maybe everyone thinks it’s his costume for Purim, a Bacon painting of a Screaming Pope.
Gone in six seconds
Nathan imagines they’d be caught and, besides, the man may be a serial killer, so suggests the cruising park behind the Hilton instead. Much safer.
League of handsome
He’s too polite to say he thinks he’s more handsome than me, but he’s not too polite to think it.
No picnic
She lies on a rug with Alberto, they are playful with each other, then nap, their bodies touching, like incestuous twins.
Rain, at last
You are cute and cute and enjoy the beautiful hugs of life. And I actively love kissing hugs and blowjob pussy flowing.
Playboy of the Western Wall
He says I should come back to the table and talk to him more, and blows me a kiss. I wink at him, like a playboy.
A self-saucing pudding
Nathan, whose greatest fear is that he’ll develop a resistance to Botox, returned from Frankfurt with the face of an inexpressive eight year old.
Keton
A man at another table pointed at me, his hand trembling, and said, “Itzak Stern sat there.”
Ulpanation
She looked disgusted, as if I’d admitted to a taste for rat, or beetroot, or something.
Water, water, everywhere…
I notice a couple on a third floor balcony of the Royal Beach having sex. We watch the distant, bobbing figures for a while.
Why are we here?
I ask if there’s anything that connects us, the new immigrants. ‘We didn’t fit in at home?’ says Megan, in that way that makes statements sound like questions.
Nathan loves Alberto loves Rufina
I go to the bank to check money has been transferred and to convert it into shekels. My rent won’t be paid without it. This simple job took nearly three anxious weeks last month, but has gone more smoothly this time. I’m thrilled to learn the pound has strengthened by a minuscule amount since I… Continue reading Nathan loves Alberto loves Rufina
My first day at the ulpan
It is my first day at the ulpan, and the first time I spend with people in a common cause since I arrived in November, three months earlier, unless you count queuing at the Ministry of the Interior, that is.
Art attack
They seemed especially nervous of ‘conceptual’ art. I can’t imagine what dark things they imagine.
Manta Ray
We may be the definition of rootless cosmopolitans, citizens of the world.
Sex! (A drought)
I reached the shop, down a short alley, and knocked on the door. I knocked again.
Ludmilla
She looks behind her, as if to remind everyone of something, and flicks her hair, like a pony flicks its mane.
Friday night dinner
Nathan pretends to look serious and says, ‘We can talk about politics, if you want,’ and laughs, then repeats himself. We stop talking about Eurovision.
